Our Unique Wants and Needs

How do you gauge what you should be doing from what you shouldn't? In a society where almost all things are accepted where do you draw the line, or do you?
Sure, some things have laws preventing them but besides those bad decisions what is frowned upon?
Nothing is bad unless you make it bad. There is an emotion that we humans feel called "shame" that keeps us from doing wrong. Actually, normally it doesn't stop anyone from doing anything just makes them regret it.
In this world of "shame" and "regret" are the same principals as the old world where a lady's worth was dependent on her reputation. A spotless reputation was marked by a lady who caused no trouble at all and was the picture of piety and accomplishment.  A woman who had to watch her every word and show nothing.
Today we can do anything we want but we still feel that old world "shame" for having sullied our reputations with the shameful act. So can we truly do whatever we want, or is it an illusion?
I believe that if you want something that breaks no laws and harms no one, despite the way society sees it, you should feel no shame. Our wants and needs are unique and we can't all hope to be satisfied by the same "vanilla" lifestyle.
Walking around pretending to be perfect does more harm to society than good. Imagine a world full of clones each one the same as the next.
The next time you are facing a decision take a look at your options. There's always an easy and a hard option. Think about what you want the most and do it without shame. Regardless of how hard it is to be yourself, accomplish your goals or make the right decision for you, the right road is often the one that you want to take.

Without Fear of Consequences

This house is heated past the boiling point. In this heat anyone can look appealing. I’d forgotten how the heat can make you want to do things. Things you never thought you’d do. My stomach flutters and my skin boils. My blood turns bright red under my skin.

The touch is piercing. Cold water reaches up and brings goose bumps to every inch of me. Your hands on my shoulders and their soft skin rub my fears away. There is nothing when I close my eyes but the beat of your heart behind mine. Together we dive in.

Cold sharp water surrounds me in every direction. Distorted light, no sound, but the warmth of your hand finds me and we fall upwards together. We break surface with a splash of moonlight and I reach through the distance between us to give you a kiss. You are my love. My love is a tender and boisterous thing. It cannot be contained or silenced, it cannot hold a secret. You are my love.

For My Mother

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

This prayer peeks its head into my life when I need it the most and it reminds me of my mother's struggles through recovery. If she can become the strong woman she is today I know I have nothing less inside of me.

For Dan

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
– Mother Teresa

I know for a fact you have said this to me and when I stumbled upon reading it I cried a little to hear your voice again in my head. Thank you.